Missing The Sea

A friend of mine sent me this.  Two and a half months back and I’m longing to be back at sea…..

SOME TIPS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE FEELING NOSTALGIC ABOUT THOSE GREAT TIMES AT SEA ……

Leave the lawnmower running in the lounge to fill the room with a lovely diesel smell whilst you try to sleep on the couch. 

Remove the labels from the cans in the kitchen and once a day, eat cold, whatever can you pick up first.

Once a week choose an electrical appliance to strip and re-assemble with a torch in your mouth while lying on your stomach on the kitchen table.

Remove the bulbs from the light fittings and use only torches with weak batteries.

Fit a small fluorescent lamp under the coffee table; lay on the floor with your head under the table to read your favourite book over and over.

During thunderstorms, run through the kitchen, sweep all the pots and pans on the floor, run around the garden shouting “man overboard”, check fences for broken strands and bail the fishpond with a coffee cup.

When making a cake/bread, prop up the oven on one side while it bakes, then spread the icing really thick to try to level it off.

You’d think I was mad to want to go back!

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2 Responses to Missing The Sea

  1. chris cowen says:

    That is so funny. But I can totally understand you missing being out there. Better start looking for ideas I guess!

  2. Martyn says:

    Brilliant, Lesley…. Thought I,d add.. Place floorboards in your toilets at 45 degrees for your feet to rest on , put set of dumbells by loo , keep 400 wet wipes on shelf, remove all loo seats and covers, put brick in plastic bag and place in bowl of loo so that bowl is only fraction of its size,now hold on tight to nearest towel rail,never put paper down loo..place in open waste paper bin at other end of toilet, use dumbells 40 times before flushing loo, oh and never close the loo door,especially if the loo is right next to the kitchen, … Going to the loo at sea …Always something to look forward to !

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